The Wonderful Kiss of the Elephant

The Top 5 Men in a Woman's life are:

1. Doctor.
2. Dentist
3. Coal man.
4. Decorator.
5. Bank manager.

A Doctor says to take off your clothes.
A Dentist says open wide.
A Coal man asks "where do you want it, front or back?"
A Decorator says "how do you like it now that it’s up?"
A Bank manager says "don’t take it out you’ll lose interest"!

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BMW or Maruthi
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The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my BMW parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old maruti 800 with two flat tires.
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A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, “Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars?

“Are you nuts? !!” she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.

“Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?” he asks again.

“Listen you; I’m not that kind of woman! Got it?” So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again. “Would you let me bite your breasts just once for $10,000 dollars?”

She thinks about it for a while and says, “Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here. Let’s go to that dark alley over there.”

So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.

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Teacher: Why do buffaloes look depressed after being milked?
A student: Madam, if some one press Ur BooBs for 2 hours & doesn't **** U.. how would U feel??


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1 boob say to another: lagta hai niche gali me fir hulchul ho rahi...
2nd boob : hamesha aisg hi hota hai lafada waha hota hai aur pakde hum dono jate hai..


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Two sardars were going in a car...
A cat come in the way..
1st Sardar: iski maa ki chut!!
2nd Sardar: Chut se yaad aaya Bhabhiji kaisi hai ??

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Women's life is very hard!!!
Morning wash clothes..
Afternoon dry clothes...
Evening iron clothes...
Night remove clothes...
Midnight searching for clothes...

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Zindagi kya hai aramaan bhosadi ka,
aurat ke piche pada hai insaan bhosadi ka,
plastic ka lund elastic ki chut kya kya bana raha hai Japan bhosadi ka!!!

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A 70years old man married to a 16years old young girl.
In their first night both were crying...
WHY???
'Coz she didnt know anything & he forgot everything...

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Boy: Can l kiss u?
Girl: vertical or horizontal?
Boy: what?
Girl: uper lips par ya lower lips pe?
Boy: kya matlab?
Girl= Abhe Bosadike, hotho pe ya chut pe..

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Tata is now in the field of GSM service provider following Relaince. And the offers are too tempting to be mouth-watering. Ever thought of seconds pulse rate. Yes, this is the latest trend brought to you by Tata Docomo. You just pay for what you use. They offer you a per second pulse. As you pay only for the seconds you use therefore, you are paying only for what you use. The other operators charge you on per minute basis and you lose the unused seconds.

To know what we mean, please read the example below.
Example: On other operators you make a 20 seconds call and you pay for 1 min because they have a 60 seconds pulse
On TATA DOCOMO you pay only for seconds that you talk. So if you make a call from your TATA DOCOMO and the call lasts for 20 seconds, you pay for only 20 seconds.


First about the Company: TATA DOCOMO is a GSM service provider in India by Tata Teleservices Limited (TTSL), in which NTT DOCOMO INC.(leading mobile operator in JAPAN) owns a 26 percent stake. They have launched the GSM service in southern India this month and gradually expand it nationwide. Currently the service is available in Andra Pradesh, Karnataka, Kerala, Tamil Nadu and Orissa. This is about the company. Let me inform you about their offers.

-> The SIM Card costs you 49 Rs. which comes with a lifetime validity and 5 Rs talktime. Yes, you heard it correct. Life Time validity at 49 Rs.
-> Calling rates: 1 Paise/Sec all across India, yes, again you heard it correct, 1 paise/sec for even STD Calls, so that makes 60 paise/minute.
-> ISD rates are also calculated at seconds pulse. You just pay for number of seconds you talk.
-> You can give miss call to your friends across India even if you have just ONE paise balance.
-> You need to pay 60 paise either for first local message or the first three local messages that you send in a day depending on the state you belong to and then you get around 100 to 150 free local smses for a day.
-> Rechange 25 Rs. and call any Tata Indicom, Tata docomo and Virgin numbers at 1 Paise/2 second equivalent to 30 Paise/min.

AP - Pay for the First 3 Local SMS everyday and get the next 150 Local SMS free for the day
Karnataka - Pay for the First Local/ National SMS everyday and get the next 100 Local/ National SMS free for the day
TN - Pay for the First 3 Local SMS everyday and get the next 750 Local SMS free for the day

-> For STD SMSes, the plan remains the same, just the difference is that the first one or firt two messages will cost you 1.20 Rs each and then you will get 100 to 150 STD SMSes free for a day.
-> You have pre-activated roaming (free accross India), GPRS Service and other facilities.
-> After every call the following information is updated on the screen of your handset.
Seconds that you saved vis-à-vis a 1 minute call
Your account balance
Last call charge

Other facilities:

---> Get your balance and Validity instantly
Press *111# and press ok
Call 12525 and follow instructions.

---> Automatic alerts when your Balance is Low
you will receive an alert advising you to recharge your account at the earliest whenever your balance becomes low.

Now, just tell what do you want more. We dont think any other GSM or CDMA Services available in India gives you these much low call rates till now.